A collection of prayer journal entries from this past week:
Hey Father! Best friend!
What a sweet 2 days! Really hot, but really sweet. Got to do ministry with my team and Clayton again, which is such a blessing. I just love them a lot! Getting close with a lot of the kids, which is such an honor. It’s my favorite thing when they play with my hair! I‘m just so thankful for those kids. Your kids! Help me to see them in that way! Help me to show them how beautiful they are!
The idea of shaving my head came up the other day. Not sure if it’s from you yet, but help me if it is! Help me to see me how you see me! Help me to do what you want me to do! Help me to walk in boldness!
Help me to walk in your love more & more!
Hey Father! Best friend!
You are just so good. Last night during worship, I was just talking to you and asking for clarity & confirmation. You started to bring up a lot of lies I was believing these past few days. “I‘ll never be seen as beautiful if I shave my head“. “I’ll never be loved if I shave my head”. Just lies. Lies that I thought you grew me out of. But when it came to this, the lies came back. Without my hair, those lies were true in my head. And I don’t want to step away from obedience and end up missing what you had for me because of lies i believing. So you confirmed it even more with Clayton. He came up to me and said “Tonight’s the night”. And we were in.
I asked Ella to pray over me & she brought up a picture of a horse that she spoke over me earlier that night. “The mane isn’t what makes the horse beautiful. It’s the strength“. I am beautiful because the Lord calls me beautiful. A beautiful crowned daughter of the King. What an honor.
So Clayton & I sat down & everyone gathered around. Trav right in front of me holding my hands. Will & Bree next to me. Syd behind me. The best community around me. When I thought they would be silent, they started throwing out compliments. When this community is filled with you & seeing people the way you see them, they see me as beautiful. That’s not even what its all about, because you’re the one that matters, but you’ve blessed me with support that you didn’t need to give me. And thats through Your Grace. And I thank you for it. Trav reminded our squad that this community was prayed for by each of us, and now we have it. And I saw them in such a sweet way last night. I’m so thankful for who You are and who You have blessed me with.
This is new life. A representation of all the growth you’ve walked me through the past 5 months. Help me to learn from you more & more & more. What an honor. What a blessing. I love you and thank you so much.
Hey Father! Best friend!
Thank you for today! For your kids love being shown through your kids today. That you could in this season just make me rely on you, but in grace, you bless me with affirmation. From the squad, but also from the kids at ministry. These kids loved to play with my hair, so when I saw the kids with my shaved head, they asked right away why I cut my hair. They missed being able to play with it. When I showed them that they could still play with my hair, but in a different way, they loved it. They called it beautiful. Over & over. They saw something they weren’t familiar with and called it beautiful. When something changes in a way I wasn’t expecting, I still see it as beautiful because I know you’re good. And it’s for my good. And you work all things together for the good of those who love you.
When you show me the new, you show me its good. You gave your perspective to those kids to see me as beautiful. Always give me that perspective Father. To see like you do.
New Wine by Hillsong Worship was the song I asked Grace to play when Syd started cutting my hair.
“Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me
In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
Because where there is new wine
There is new power
There is new freedom”
“You are precious in my sight and honored, and I love you”. Isaiah 43:4
Love always,
Ava 🙂
